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| 09:10am 21/06/2009 |
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mood:  energetic music: Feeling Good by Muse
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Considering the fact that I almost didn't even come to Port Con this year... I'm SO FRIGGEN GLAD that I did...
Its restored my faith in my art. Its restored my inspiration. Its rekindled my connection with so many of you...
I've made over $300 in commissions so far!!! I've been drawing for 3 days straight and besides the massive spinal ache I'd have to say I'm extremely content... And Its helped take my mind off the cluster fuck I left back home.
And I think its awakened an addiction to cons... I really wanna try for FF again this year... If things have settled down by october.
Thankyou guys, for all the positive response to my last entry... I needed it! And I'm so so happy that you all don't hate me <3 |
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| wooaaah meh fukkin gahd... |
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| 09:51pm 18/06/2009 |
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mood:  distressed music: The Widow by Mars Volta
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And... Six months later, through the murk of the year thus far... She emerges, steeped in madness and absolute bewilderment.
I'd write a book about my life if the task weren't such an overwhelming undertaking in itself.
I've had the week from hell though. A real cherry on the shit sundae... And colliding with Port Con, which I booked almost 6 months ago with Hannah... How was I to know I'd have until the 20th of June to move out? Port Con Running from the 17th until the 21st. So I spent Wednesday in a whirlwind of packing and trucking things to the new/old place...
And of course, come June amidst my total confusion, an art block settles in thats been slowly squeezing the life out my inspiration all winter. I booked this convention in hopes that it would galvanize me the way that FF did in 07... But the lack of connection with internet for so long has certainly stunted my productivity. And I had no idea it would coincide with the dramasplosion thats been festering in my current living situation for entirely too long.
And then Blue gets hit by a car. I'm glad I wasn't the one to find him. Kristen, a friend from work ended up stopping and finding my roomates. Literally HOURS before He was about to be moved to his new home, out in the country... FAR FAR AWAY from fucking Bridge Hill and all the asshole hicks who just love to do 60 in 25 zone. He was the sweetest fucking cat. I call him a kitten still because he never really grew very big. Blue grey with the biggest tawniest eyes. My little wolf... FUCK. And I never wanted to start letting him outside... I knew he was too simple minded... the snuggliest little bugger you could ever fall in love with. Everyone that met that cat fell in love with it. People jokingly threatened to steal him all the time... And literally hours before I was about to move him into the new place... GAH. I don't even know what to feel... I know it happens. I know its part of life. BUT FUCKKKKK... its sucks so much! And I can't stop thinking about the last time I held him and how he always looked at me. And how I haven't been around as much during the move and my poor kitties have been going crazy...
So I'm hear, a day later. In our cheap hotel room monopolizing my friend chelseas laptop and the free wireless. Reeling with regrets and what if's and KNOWING that I need to be focusing on art. Thinking about all the people and pets and friends I've lost so far this year. Numb with confusion and REGRET. REGERTREGRETREGRET. Out of everything thats happened so far this year... how so many things just tweeked slightly could have had such drastically different out comes...
I feel like my life has completely left my control. Not that it was ever in any real semblence of control... But its just rampent now. I'm being forced to move in to a house thats trashed beyond recognition with a bunch of alchohalics because I have nowhere else to go. I'm scared to move my shit in because they're constantly partying and burning shit and they won't be moving out until the end of July so who fucking knows how much of my stuff will be left by then. And on the other hand I just want to completely abandon all my physical obligations and possessions. AND DISSAPPEAR. I want to travel, be free, have no ties of roots to keep dragging me back in to the tangle of life. Its all so fucking overwhelming. No more pets to fall in love with and be CRUSHED by when they leave this earth in such a short time. No more junk projects, five thousand started and none of them finished. Choaked and strangled by my piles upon piles of stuff. Working a job that I love passionatly and can be proud of, that will never pay enough to make up for all the madness I put up with there on a daily basis...
But where was I going with all this? I can't remember... I just know I'm numb with it all. And trying to turn this con into a diversion instead of dwelling myself into a deep dark pit. Plus I need to focus. AND MAKE MONEY. SO that when I get home I can buckle down as start fixing up the new place.
I miss you all. ALL OF YOU. SO FUCKING MUCH. Being at port con makes me ache with over how long its been since I've talked with all of you. MEG MAB MARY JOLYN CHIV ARY RACHEAL KIIIIIITTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY....
I ask everytime, but please... forgive me again for my abscence. I think about you all the time and all the things we've shared and how badly I still want to be a part of it all before I get bogged back down in life. I'll be here, Portland Maine at Port Con until sunday... Please, I miss you guys and would love to hear from you and how you're doing and how I can make it up to you <3 My major suckage that is...
And sorry to Vent. Just be glad I only let out a weeks worth of venting... the last 6 months have been beyond reality... GRARajHGREjashfsndf. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| 2 0 0 9 |
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| 08:25am 02/01/2009 |
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HAPPY NEW FRIKKEN YEAR O.O
I miss and love all of you <3
Still no consistent internet... but I'm getting laid off as of this Saturday... so we'll see what happens. I may need to get internet as its soon to be my only source of income x.x
How is it that everytime I get laid off, its the worst possible time of year? |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| State of Maine Vs. Jaime Lynn Parent... IT'S FINALLY OVER!! |
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| 01:22pm 25/05/2008 |
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mood:  jubilant music: Nerve Endings
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So! Sorry to be so very absent... but life has been a series of very climactic events of late. The weekend of May17th marked my best friend JoAnne's wedding to her lovely Brett Threat. Sealing an 8 year relationship and culminating into the most unique and perfect "wedding" I have ever been to! I can't wait to inundate you all with pictures! Everything just fell into place perfectly and after staying up all night working on the cake... it was so liberating to finally have it all finished and without any problems.
Thus rolled up Friday, May 23rd. After 9 months of bail conditions and literally having NO rights as a citizen... I was ready to just see it all over. I didn't care at that point whether I'd actually have to face jail time... I just wanted it OVER. Especially after the cluster fuck the first court dat turned into back in February. When the State of Maine DA subpeona'd the WRONG person, and utterly forgot to subpeona Beau. So.. as an utter deja'vu, my 4 witness' showed up bright and early again last friday. To sit and wait for the entire day in hopes we'd actually get into the court room this time. (Maine's Judicial system is so over loaded x.x)
The finally took me into the court room around 1... and proceded to have me sit through 4 other cases before calling me up. The entire time, out of the corner of my eye, I was watching the State of Maine DA and officer Shawn WIlley have a heated but whispered debate. They actually caught me watching at one point and covered their mouths so I couldn't read their lips. Finally, the Judge calls the Parent case up to docket. I was about to rise, when the DA darts forward with a fistful of papers and says there has been a change in witness testimony! And the state is willing to drop the case based on the fact I had already filed for dismissal based on failure to prosecute. They had no evidence, and no witness' of their own besides Officer Shawn Willey, who had IN FACT contradicted his own police report. Which is considered set in stone witness testimony. This is also the third time in the last few months he has been caught fabricating in police reports. The sheriff has had to issue two public apology's for his behavior over the past year. This is also the same officer who tasered an individual 6 HOURS after the police force official recieved Tasers to use. And then lied about tasering him. And has never come forward to apologize for lieing. They only thing thats even kept him on the force at this point is that he is Ellsworth's only K9 unit.
I pretty much sat there in shock for about a minute. Until my lawyer gently shook my arm and said "That's it! It's Over!!" I swear it was like... I dunno. Being injected with caffiene or adrenaline or something. I WAS ON CLOUD FREAKIN NINE!
9 months. 9 FUCKING MONTHS AND IS OVER! No criminal record, no fines, NO JAIL TIME!! Because I didn't back down, because I actually took the time to fight it and had my shit together... And it's so gratifying! To see that maybe... just maybe... every now and then the judicial system works. Not often enough... but at least every now and then.
So I keep catching myself, sitting in my living room by myself mind you, with the most retarded grin on my face. Its like having a huge storm cloud lifted off my shoulders. I have citizen rights again! I CAN DRINK WHENEVER THE HELL I WANT TO!! Which isn't even very often... Although I plan to make up for ninth months of sobriety at some point... maybe tonight since I don't work Monday...
I seriously could not be any more giddy then I am right now. Magnolia's and Lilacs are in bloom (my two favorite flowers). I walked down to the river this morning in brilliant sunlight and picked a huge armful so now the house is redolent with Lilacs and their beautiful smell... I went fiddle headin' on Monday and ended up with almost 30 pounds (which I could sell for $4 a pound) although I have been giving them away like crazy cause they are so tasty and it feels good to spoil my friends and family...
I have a ton of art to scan and get on top of posting... so expect a tidal wave of activity from me over the next month or so... I miss all of you like crazy... I hope to be around more now that my stress factors have been reduced!
KITTY!! *HUGSTIGHT* I lost you number ;___; I had it in my cell phone list of recent calls but now its gone and I need to actuallly write it down somewhere... mebbe note me with it sometime? MISSU!
LOVE YOU ALL! HAPPY HAPPY KEET SLOBBERS FOR ALL! |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| Packrat Nomad |
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| 08:19pm 14/03/2008 |
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mood:  busy music: Donny Brook
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ALMOST COMPLETELY MOVED IN!! Its been hectic... but it's satisfying, even if I live amoungst utter squaller at the moment. Boxes and bags overflowing and disorganized piled like mountains. Arranged around a very lumpy bed i've constructed from various sized couch cushins with a futon pad over them. I am madly in love with my sun porch though! I've got my craft and art table set up out there for maximum saratonin intake. It really helps with keeping me inspired and motivated. Then my plant shelf in the oppisite corner so I can start all my seedlings out there come spring time. I also have a hanging closet now. ITS AWESOME. I don't need to move any dressers in , I can just have everything nice and sorted and at my finger tips! The kitchen is rather tiny, and the washing machine is next to the fridge which is odd, but I cooked my first meal here the other night and it was so serene.
I don't think I realized how much STUFF I've actually accumulated over the years since it was spread out throughout a huge house. Now that I've got it condensed into two rooms I've got to do some serious minimalizing. So expect a massive internet yardsale soon. As well as a massive one in my actual yard soon as all this damn SNOW goes away.
I am ready for spring. For change. For rebirth and renewal and all that jazz. I feel like this a fresh start on an organized life and i'm really taking it seriously. I'm tired of my clutter and procrastination holding me back. This place is the perfect size to keep on top of cleaning wise and I finally have a roommate who is condusive to such a life style.
Pookabella and Biddy are moved in. They arn't getting along with Kayla's cats, Mittens and Squeeks, quite yet... But I think they'll establish a pecking order soon enough and things will calm down. The Degu is PSYCHED. She loves her new spot and basks in the sun and chitters and warbles with happiness pretty much all day... *snuggles her little Jaegar*
Booked so many shows with the band over the next few months. We're finally getting the recording on its way to finished and the D.I.Y. DVD production is coming a long great. We officially released our first show and the first volume of the New England Punk series. Hope there will be many more to come after that. Our first show DVD will be available on Interpunk.com pretty soon I'm told, which rocks. They are cheap enough that I think people might by them out of curiosity and I'm really hoping it turns more people on to out tunes. The Pinkerton Thugs and Piracy show has been reschedualed for April 19th. Which means it will be back to back with the 4/20 show with The Koffin Kats and Murder Weapon. SWEET WEEKEND OF SHOWS MUCH???
The 19th is also JoAnne's bridal shower which should be an interesting and non-conventional event ^___^ I've been running around helping like crazy to get everything together for their wedding in May. I'm so happy for her. I've never had a best friend get married before, but I can't think of any two people I'd rather see "walking down the aisle" together. Though it certainly not going to be a cookie cutter wedding. I'm so psyched about doing the cake. I plan on putting every bit of my baking and pastry skills into it. I really want it to be perfect, and original. I've got quite a few sketches done already and I'm still deciding on the right recipe for the cake itself. Keeping in mind that it needs to feed at least 70.
BLAHBLAHBLAH.
You get the idea... I'm insanely busy and I feel bad that all my artistic energies have been devoted to the band and my friends of late... I have so many MLP's and art to sell I need to get in order... I've got packages for Razerz, Mary, Savannah and the M&M I really need to get out. Address' would be much appreciated!! Missu guys <3 |
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| Relocation |
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| 06:28pm 29/02/2008 |
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mood:  crazy music: I Need Coffee by Covered In Bees
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MOVING x.x
Trying to find space for a housefull of junk in a tiny little apartment. On the upside I'm now a five minute walk from work. On the down side, Rent is skyrocketing and I smashed all four fingers on my right hand today while moving and they are practically useless. Just in time for the Pinkerton Thugs show, TOMORROW. I'm still gonna try my damndest to rock on bass. Though I'll prolly be converting a lot of lines over to slap bass. Plucking just isn't going to happen. I'm going to ice them all night though in hopes of bringing them back to life.
STRESSSSSSSS.....
*crumples into a neat little pile of keet*
I'll have a new phone number and addresss to hook you all up with shorlty. AND *crosses fingers* High speed wireless!!!! *clings*
I'm not going to get my hopes up too much incase I can't afford it... but It will rock most hardcore if all works out. Hooray for finally having a female roomate who will have standards of cleanliness!! Miss you all profusely <3 |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| The Judicial Clusterfuck: State of Maine Vs. Jaime Parent |
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| 08:32pm 24/02/2008 |
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mood:  angry music: Pineapple Fight by Covered in Bees
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August. I have been on bail... SINCE FUCKING AUGUST. And as the date loomed closer and closer... Ferbruary 22nd... each week a new lesson on pulling out my own hair and loosing sleep... The bail check... the lawyer hassle (although the day before my trial I was finally assigned a half way decent guy) I spent the last month trying to organize and represent myself. Subpeona'd my own witness'... searched for answers to all the gaping holes and lies in the police report... busted my ASS off to get this shit together and logically presentable to a judge.
The 22nd rolls around, I show up at the court house at 9am along with my three witness'... Fred, Dave, and Brett. My little brother was also there as one of their witness'. We sat there ALL DAY not allowed to leave even for a cigarette (in my case, clove) except for one half hour lunch break. Finally, my case gets called. 3:30, end of the day. They march me into the court room and keep my witness' outside, plopping me down in the defendant seat directly across from offcer EPDsbiggestDICK Shawn Willey. The judge is the grumpiest old fuck I've ever seen and his very first question is Who do you have for witness' to each side. We verified our three. The DA starts to verify hers when she realizes none of them are there besides my little brother. The first one isn't there because they never officially subpeona'd him. The second one was subpeona'd... but he was the WRONG PERSON. I don't know him, he wasn't even at my show, he had no clue why he'd been subpeona'd thus hadn't showed up. At this point the DA and the other lawyer for the state of Maine begin to argue amoungst themselves with Officer Willey. The judge of course, is LIVID. He's yelling at the DA by now "Stop wasting my Time! Get your act together!" The DA begs for a conference and the court takes a recess.My lawyer and theres leaving with the judge. Leaving me and my little brother alone, face to face with mister glarefacedintimidationpants Willey. The DA begged for a conitnuence so they come back in and tell me I have a new court date of MAY 23RD so that they might build a case and get they're witness' together. ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. The whole fucking thing should have been thrown out right then. They've had since NOVEMBER to get their shit together. I didn't even have a lawyer until the day before my trial and I still had all my shit together. And I get to be on bail UNTIL MAY TWENTYFUCKINGTHIRD. SO they can "build" a case? They already tried to get Fred to lie, asking him to SAY that I'd taken him to the store and purchsed him his beer. I DIDN'T EVEN BUY BEER FOR MYSELF. I'm just waiting to see what the fuck they are going to pull out of their asses now. Bribes and plea bargains to get my friends to lie?
I just wanted it to be over. I'm so tired of having this hanging over my head. It will be approaching the year mark at this rate. 7 months so far of no rights and liberties. I'm twentytwo years old and I'm not even supposed to be within 20 feet of alchohal? I can be searched at any time for any reason, my house, my car, my person. I'M SO TIRED OF IT. This fucking court system is so backwards and over whelmed. Its more like guilty till proven innocent at any rate. I'm now doing everything in my power to file for a dismissal. WISH ME LUCK.
My best friend Joanne and her BF of 7 years Brett are getting married on May 17th and I plan to have a thuroughly GOOD TIME. Unless i'm on bail, then I won't even be allowed to drink champagne I'll toast with.
February honestly can't be any worse. I'm supposed to be packed and moved out my the first of march and I havent even had TIME. Nothings boxed, I haven't even taken the Chinchilla's to their new owner who I found to adopt them almost two months ago. BLARGH.
I'll shut up now... I'm sorry to poison your ears with my rant but I've been bottling everything so much lately I'm just waiting for the molotov to go off.
Miss you guys <3
Kitty! call me... i miss you and I always call when you arn't around ;_____; |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| FUCKYOUPIG |
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| 09:31pm 04/02/2008 |
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Honestly... Does the Ellsworth Police Department have nothing better to do at 9 o'clock on a Friday night then dig through my shit?
I had my bail check. They spent over an hour and a half sifting through every little nook and cranny of my room. Went through my underwear draw PAIR BY PAIR. GAH. It was so invasive and just... UNREAL to have two 40+ year old men going through every part of my personal life. Only to find out that I've been a very good girl. What do they expect? Do they think I'm an idiot. At this point I'm not going to do ANYTHING to jeopardize my freedom. Of course my house is going to be clean! Not a drop of booze. They confiscated Junebug's antler Tabacco pipe tho. A pipe he inherited from his Penobscot grandfather because it apperently had Resin residue. Bastards. Way to snag a family hierloom he'll never be able to replace.
Miss you guys... I'm hanging in there. February is turning out to be rather brutal tho. I need to get on here an post more. I should have internet at my new apartment tho! WIRELESSSSSS *grabby hands* |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| DIE 2007 DIE |
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| 10:23pm 31/12/2007 |
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Happy New Years Guys!!
I'm at work as we speak. Closing early thanks to atrocious weather and a bad turn out. Just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking about you and missing you tons <3
KITTY... ima call you tonight when I get home if you are around...
I say this every year... but maybe this year will be different.
LETS HOPE 2008 KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF 2007.
I'm in dire need of some good karma to swing back my way...
Love you guys <3
Hope you have a blast... |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| BURIED |
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| 12:25pm 15/12/2007 |
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mood:  cold music: Crappy XMAS STOOF
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Up to my kneeeees in snow.
We keep getting buried! They predict 5" WE GET TWO FEET. They say scattered flurries non accumulating... We get Half a foot? BASTARDS. And this Sunday? They are predicting multiple feet. What the hell. It either means were gonna get like... AN INCH. Or some sort of snowy apocalypse. Not that i'm aposed to a snowy apocalypse... I'd just really like to be better prepared?
Problem with mass amounts of snow is that i have this crappy phone service by the name of VONAGE that cuts out in overcast, cloudy, snowy, rainy, BAD weather. Which we've had about every other day. It runs through the DSL line which also cuts out. Thus... no intravebs. ITS KILLING MEEEEE. Although I have been working like a mad woman to complete gifts for EVERYONE becuase I'm far to broke for buying gifts this year. I'm such a grinch at the moment. Tough I watched Narnia the other day and it quite improved my mood on the whole thing. THE GRYPHONS!!! *CLINGS* I just hope people don't mind the home made gifts.
I'm at an internet cafe right now and its insanely PACKED FULL OF HUMANS. All frantic with holiday shopping. I'm crunched in a corner avoiding all the odd looks I get thanks to the tons of stickers coating the back of my laptop. BLARGH. CHRISTMAS. BAH HUMBUG. I just like giving year round. My Grandma died christmas day 3 years ago after and agonizing battle with colon cancer so I'm not particularly fond of this time of year. My parents divorced early and the whole thing has always been associated with battling over who gets the kids this year. Not to mention the rash of consumerism thats to be expected. Though I digress... I do get sucked up into the obligation of giving with vigor. Yes i'm a total hyprocrite x.x Because I do love thinking up gifts that fit and doing little crafty thingummys. It just sucks that its December and I'm ALWAYS DIRT POOR in the winter time. Hours get cut so drastically and cost of living sky rockets... GAH. I'd like to get nice gifts for everyone... but the reality of the situation is Its just not happening. Now drawings and ornaments and silly little hand stuffed ferrets with mowhawks and spikey collars? Expect much of such.
Got my copy of the police report concerning my court case in February. Its driving me up the wall. Its so full of absolute lies. A total lack of time frame and omissions of vital details. It just confirms more of my beliefs to their sloppy unprofessional behavior. I'm still deciding on a lawyer... I'm not fond of my current one x.x
Also been dealing with an INSANE amount of family stress. Constantly battling my mother over issues my brothers been having... Its complicated. And seriously worrying me to the point where I can't sleep at night. I've picked up a video game addiction to at least use the insomnia to some extent. OBLIVION. Fitting to its name it more then feeds the divergent side of myself that just needs to fucking FORGET reality every now and again because if I thought about it all the time it would drive me nuts. WOMG the game is so intense and HUMONGOUS and detailed. I'm such an absolute dork... I just run around collecting herbs and maxing out my alchemy skills and being a mage with moderate marksmen skills and a blade of DOOOOM. Wow I need to shutup x.x
POINT OF ALL THIS! SORRY I'M NOT AROUND!! LIFES GONE MAD!! AND I MISS YOU GUYS TONS.
As usual x.x
My anxieties maxed out now so I'm split this cafe and head out to JoAnnes to work on t-shirts for the show we're playing tonight. Expect a massive art upload soon though! I've got a lot I need to scan... most of it gift related. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| not dead... |
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| 05:36pm 08/12/2007 |
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Hey guys...
Thanks for being there for me <3
Just wanted to let you all know my internets down and I won't be around for a bit... Feel free to call me if you want talk tho! Although the phone gets wonky in wintery weather. Focusing on artwork and crafts for a show I have next weekend. I also have a huge long post On my laptop i'll throw on here the next chance I get to go to swing by the internet cafe'.
Miss you guys... and thanks for being my friends. Cause right now that's all that is getting me through all the bullshit.
*CRUSHING HUGS FOR ARY, MAB, AND SHANE*
Also... thansk for calling me Ariel... it felt good to talk <3
-Jaime |
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| fuckthefuzz |
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| 11:39am 20/11/2007 |
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mood:  infuriated music: Fuck you Pig by the Angry Samoans
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LIVID.
FUCKING L I V I D.
And so powerless.
At the mercy of an authorative power and a court system thats so biased and backwards I can't even begin to wrap my skull around it.
I had my court date today for my birthday arrest. I plead not guilty. Thankgoddess, because if i'd plead guilty I'd be sitting in a jail cell right now for the next 30 days.
My first ever criminal charge. EVER. I've never been in trouble, even before I reached the age of 18. I have been a designated driver since I got behind the wheel of a car at 17. I'd pick my mom up at the bar to keep her from driving home drunk. I'd always be the sober one to make sure my friends could party hard and get home in one piece.
I plead not guilty and they curtly inform me that I had no choice. State and Police requested 30 days jail time. No choice of a fine. When I originally researched the charge online, it states in several places that the worse I could face was $500-$1,000 in fines, or 1 day in jail. There is a big difference between 1 and 30 days in jail. I could handle one. BUT 30? 30 days of no working or income, trapped in one big room with 20 other women? THIS IS MY FIRST OFFENSE. They want to make and example out of me because of all the under aged drinking problems they've been having in Maine.
I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE UNDERAGED. They were all in fact, 20. So close its painful, and members of bands who played at my party. As for my little brother... MY DAD GAVE HIM THE BEER. And sat there drinking it with him. RAWR x.x
eroigjewkgnfwlenfr,efsdfPLMLML,M,MLKSDFNS.,DCFASD
I have so much more I want to write but I'm shaking and angsty and I need to go pound something until my knuckles bleed. And believe me... thats very uncharacteristic of me.
All I gotta say is fuck living in this backassward state where cops have nothing better to do then fuck people over so then can put gas in their fucking Police Hummers. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| percolated up |
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| 09:39am 04/11/2007 |
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mood: cold music: Dillinger Escape Plan
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GAH! What a gorgeous day after the storm <3 *SITS IN A WINDOW AND BASKS IN SUNLIGHT*
I swear I'm vegitation of a sort because I utterly wilt without sun ;____; I hate the depression that hangs over me on chill rainy days. Snow can be different for some reason. I love the grey heavy feeling of a slow falling snow, were its almost warm outside and you can just wander around in the forrest feeling like your the last human left in the world.
I was pretty down the past few days. We've been experiencing the remnants of some hurricane and its been total dreary weather, ripping the last of the color from the trees and leaving everything naked and cold :[ Crushing the crisp fall smell of apples and leaves decaying on the damp earth. I can't help but dwell on all the negatives when its dreary out, so I'm glad to be clambering out of my rut. I have been super productive art wise which feels good! Halloween was a good time... Went to dinner dressed as a zombie chef and they served me a raw steak as a joke o.o Pretty funny actually... then spent most of the night as a designated driver for all my pals at a bonfire in the boonies. The entire next day was spent drawing art and having a most EPIC zombie movie marathon! It was awesome! And I was so inspired to work on gorey bloody art the whole time. Finished a sketch for Chival that I am SO PSYCHED about. I want to ink it right now o.o Here was the zombie movie marathon itinerary: Planet Terror, Slither, Evil Dead 1, Army of Darkness, Return of the Living Dead, From Dusk Till Dawn(yeah its actually mexican vampires but they rock!), Dead Alive, Undead, Beetlejuice, Day of the Dead, Black Sheep, AND Shaun of the Dead.
It was oh so very satisyfying as a day after Halloween treat <3 And I have much art to upload as a result o.o Plus I haven't had much of any sort of rest. Working doubles as usual to make up for taking time off... and not sleeping well at night because the house is SO COLD. Been trying to keep on top of the daily tasks. I'm no housewife ;___; Though my roomates treat me like one. Get up every morning, water the plants, check all the animals food and water levels(including my roomates VERY neglected turtles, fish, and dog), pick up empties and candy wrappers strewn all over the house everyday anew, empty the overflowing trashcan and returnable bins, Gather random dishes, clean up dog messes, scrub narsty toilet, gather up cigerette butts from the porch. I hum cinderelly cinderelly the whole time. O.o And I do all this just to maintain a basic level of clean. Barely make a dent on the CLUTTER... It gets frustrating. That despite being my QUOTEUNQUOTE "friends"... they can't respect me enough to not treat me like a maid because i'm the only female in the household? BLARGH... enough whining. I've got a roof over my head and a now moving vehicle... I'm a spoiled middleclass american brat and I need to get the fuck over trivial shit x.x Plus there are things to look forward too.
I have pipedream plans in the works of making a RAZERZ visit. Though I have a convoluted path of getting there... I want to visit my friend Natasha in Chelmsford Mass, and Rachel Booboobunny in Tewksbury the town over! And maybe anybody else I can manage to in the Mass Boston areas? Or even NewYork! I dunno! Its a billion times cheaper to fly from Boston then from our local airport, so I might as well get a little road trip in before hand! I think I may shoot for April? March is crazy busy for me this year o.o I have two art/craft fairs between now and then I can sell stuff at and hopefully help fund the trip. Ticket prices seem to run between $250 and $290. ... and the roadtrip would prolly run around $100 in food and gas... I hope to increase the amount of art commissions I'm bringing in now that my artblocks finally DIED. Also, if I get better at the MyLittleDEMONPonies I hope to offer them by commission as well! So... I'm going to start saving now... and hopefully it will all pan out! I plan to cook massive super tasty vegitarian dishes for miss kitty when I get there o.o *crosses fingers*
Bands doing okee... Though a lot of our upcoming shows hae been moved around because our awesome local venue is being shut down. OFELIA'S ;___; We shall miss thee... Basically the town of Bangor decided the couldn't handle a weekly gathering of punkers in the downtown and had a construction crew go over and pronounce the building "condemned". WHICH IS UTTER BULLSHIT. I have seen so many a crumble house in that town, Ofelias is a pretty sturdy two story warehouse sized building with no real visable interior or exterior damage. You can pretty much see straight through the bullshit on that one. BANGOR YOU SUCK!! Oh well... I'll post new dates and locations soon as we get it all figured! On the bright side the music for our album is in the process of being mixed and we are finishing the vocals with Brett at their place. ITS GOING TO RAWK <3 I'm so very psyched to get this done sooooon.
ENOUGH MINDLESS BABBLE c.c
forgive me <3 Love and miss you all! |
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| Tumbleweed Tumblin' On |
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| 12:29pm 28/10/2007 |
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mood:  blah music: The Exploited
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JoAnne and Brett officially throw the best parties ever <3 so much attention to detail and such a laid back atmosphere full up with open minded humans and free flowing philosophy... It was exactly what I needed to get the grieving out of my system.
We did a total of 4 or 5 shots in Tumbleweed's honor... which felt good. Because knowing him he wouldn't want us to be moping all over the place... He'd want us cheering and celabrating what a fast and fun life he lived. I can take consolation in the fact that I never once saw him not grinning ear to ear with that cheshire smirk of his. Always happy, laughing, sarcastic, and in good spirits.
Its also good to know that he didn't burn to death. The original tale I was told on wednesday was that he rolled the car and was still alive inside while people tried to pull him from the wreckage. Which burned up completely with him inside. They would have needed the jaws of life to get him out and the car was just too aflame to do anything about it with just the two people who first came across the accident scene. What I learned at the Funeral on Friday tho was that his head injuries killed him almost instantly. So I'm glad he didn't have to suffering a death so long and agonizing.
The deaths I've experianced this summer would probably be a lot easier to deal with if I actually believed in Heaven, or any afterlife for that matter.I am unfortunatly entirely too logical to accept anything other the the simple science of the matter. Which is that life on this planet is a gift of itself, and should be lived to its fullest in its short confines. Timmy did that. My Aunt Chris did that. And I'm doing as such in their name. Because I am flesh just the same and just as impermanent. Sorry to turn melancholy on you all. I've had such and emotional rollarcoaster of events lately.
I need to go treat my pounding migraine and wash all this fake blood off now. It felt good to have a blast last night and interact with so many people. I will have to post shinanagin pictures some point.
Miss all of you <3
Razerz! I shall return your call within the next few days! I'm working all night shifts and I haven't had a day off since last weekend, so I'm officially a zombie <3 In nature and brain! |
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| must.... aquire.... sleep.... |
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| 04:22am 22/10/2007 |
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mood:  exhausted music: Peeping Tom
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I'm sitting in A Boston Greyhound Station at 4am. Freezing my as off on the most jagged and unyielding metal bench possible. And I can't stop coughing so everyone's giving me dirty looks;____; I GET TO HANG OUT HERE UNTIL MY BUS SHOWS AT 6AM x.x
FUCK!!!
BUT...
THIS WEEKEND WAS INCREDIBLE AND TOTALLY MAKES UP FOR EET <3
I don't think I've ever met so many amazing inteliigent creatures in one place... LOVE FOR YOU ALL <3
And I officially had the bestest of roomates POSSIBLE.
jolyns, razerz, chivalz, auras and roberts <3
Thanks for making this one of the bestest gatherings I've ever attended <3<3<3
Miss you all so much already ;________; |
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| WOMGIMONMYWAY!!!! |
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| 03:41pm 18/10/2007 |
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mood:  cheerful
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I WILL BE IN CONNECTICUT ALL WEEEKENDDD!!!
My bus is showing up in Waterbury at 6:45... I'm still working out how to get to the hotel so if ANYBODY can help me out and give me a ride from the Greyhound Station I would be so unbelievably appreciative and will shower you in GIFT ART! I got a track phone so I can communicate! The number is 1-207-479-9842... JOLYNS! Feel free to call me when you arrive! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU!!! This weekends gonna fly by o.o
Pleasepleaseplease Let me know if any of you can help me with transport<3
-Jaime |
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| The month of Shitember |
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| 10:46am 01/10/2007 |
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mood: busy music: Sneaker Pimps
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WOW. I haven't posted on LJ in 86 weeks? JAIME! You fail at intravebs!! I swear... I really have no attention span x.x I figured I'd catch this bugger up to speed and post some of my recent GJ entries!! AND I WILL STATE HERE AND NOW THAT OCTOBER MUST BE BETTER THE SHITEMBER. Because Shitember was just as shitty as August. And I seriously need to get some good luck flowing x.x
Here's an entry from August:
My yet unchoosen Goddess!!! August has been a whirlwind of utter MADNESS!!! But so has most of my life up in till this point come to think of it O.o
WHERE TO BEGIN?!?!?
Ensue first week of August... Jaime running around like a mad woman trying to set up a birthday/going away party on the 11th for Dave (AUG21), Dub (AUG23), and herself (AUG10) plus our wonderful friend Jesse is going back to Arizona for College ;___; STRESSED TO THE MAX!! But I finally got it all together, and the band confirmed and the BBQ food purchased and ready and the top secret invitations... womgrunonsentance... So the party is AWESOME... people start showing up around 1... chillen in my backyard, gorgeous weather, playing volleyball... eating gormet burgers and veggie burgers cross legged in the grass... Bands played, started with us (Clinic Bomb), followed by USA Waste, No Self Control, and The Crackhead Mikes. All with various friends of mine from the are as members. The Piracy drove all the way from Lowell Mass and were just waiting for their drummer to show up... WHEN LOW AND BEHOLD, As we are lounging peacfully about my backyard enjoying the sun and GREENESS of everything... 4 police officers FLOOD into my backyard... two down this overgrown side alley and two down a central ally between my house and garage. They instantly point to an open twelve pack in the grass and start shouting for everyone to get up.Apparently there was a noise complaint form the neighbors behind me... which apparently gives them to right to violate my right to privacy? Theres 40 some people there at this point. The vast majority are 21 or older... The few underaged people there were generally the DD's of the group since we planned to all drive out to Dedham after the show and have a pit party at JoAnne and Bretts. Granted, a few underage kids were drinking. The bassist for the Piracy, my little brother Jason, who got his beer FROM MY MOM. And my friend Fred, guitarist for No Self Control. They start separating people by age and demanding I.D. Sometimes multiple forms. Refusing to believe it as one after another my friends proved to be of legal age. The way they were yelling at us and the vicious and aggressive movements and body language the portrayed was RIDICULOUS. Trying again and again to provoke us, SWEARING, Demanding passports?, Playing head games, twisting and manipulating what people were saying to get what they wanted out of them. Saying things like "WE don't fucking care... we'll take all of you to fucking jail, we've got all night!!" Meanwhile... their radios are buzzing off the hook. Some kid smashing out trailer windows with a baseball bat across town? A fifteen year old who was in a car accident and was bleeding everywhere? 6 officers showed up in the first place, 4 Ellsworth P.D. and a drug dog, and 2 State Troopers. The County's took a look around when the first showed up at all of us just sitting around in the grass and pretty much said this was a waste of time and left. Leaving E.P.D. to try and scrounge up as many charges and ticket fines as they could. One officer drawled "We don't even have enough summonse for all these! I'm going back to the station for more!" He returned with a box of almost 20 ticket booklets.Much to their obvious dismay they walked away with only three kids of the 40 drinking under age. At one point I asked an officer if all the swearing was really necessary... it was PAINFUL to watch them treat my friends with utter disrespect and harshness. The officer took a few steps towards me, his shoulder set aggressively as he toward over where I'd been instructed to sit in the grass and watch. He siad "OH... do you REALLY want to get into a discussion about this right now??" To which I replied... "We're respecting you, no ones resisting or fighting back... Why can't you respect us for one instant?" Then I decided not to let him provoke me and ignored him after that point. So... The arrested Fred since he was only 17. My brother and Beau were both 20 so they were left alone. The officer in charge yells at me to put my shoes on. I ask him why? He yells "Because you're under arrest. You're coming with us." At this point I nearly lost it. My teeth were grinding together and I felt like I could seriously just FLIPTHE FUCKOUT and give them the big scene they wanted so bad. Instead I stormed into the backyard and made a speech to my friends about making it 22 years with out ever going to jail... And was dragged away to the loudest "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAIMEEEE!!!" I have ever witnessed <3 Which felt good... and was pretty much all that got me through the chaos. Going to jail was torture. I pretty much never want to go through that ever again and I am thuroughly PISSED about having a record. They wanted to charge me with furnishing to minors but luckily they couldnt pin anything on me. Instead they knicked me with Furnishing a place for Minors to consume. I have court November 20th and I will most likely pay either 1,000$ OR do 1-30 days in jail. Not psyched. I'm saving up for a good lawyer.
SO 2 hours later I finally get bailed out of jail after repetitively being dragged in and out of the worlds TINIEST holding cell. Newly birthed sufferer of BAIL CONDITIONS. Which are the shitiest things EVER and basically void %75 of my rights. I can't drink or have alchohal within 10 feet of me. No drugs of any sort in my system. I can be searched at any time for no reason, my car, my person, anything. And I'm not alowed to leave the state. Which I've already done once since this happend :p
I was just so aggravated I had to go out to the pit party and get wasted to make up for how shitty the wonderful night had gone. The pit party was a good time! I got hug tackled on the trail by Shawn of the dead before I even got to the pit! And when I reached the raging bon fire I was MOBBED!! Friends piling onto me and kissing my face and spinning me around and HOLY SHIT EVERYONE WAS ALREADY SO TRASHED BY THE TIME I GOT THERE. It was crazy. JoAnne had Made a 170 Jello shots as a present for me and they had made a good dent on them. During the chaos tho my glasses were knocked off anf TRAMPLED to complete death. R.I.P. Aweseme square green glasses... I shall miss you <3 The group hug was totally worth it tho. So basically I tried to catchup and failed and ended up babysitting my super wasted little brother for the rest of the night. And everyone got way to drunk and way too fast and ended up passing out pretty early. I stayed up until 3am watching the meator showers and helping my brother puke out the car door. What a... strange night o.o Half awesome half SUPER SHITTY.
BlahblahblahcopsSUCKblahblah
Worked a 65 hour week so that I could have Friday off to play in Salem with the Viscious Bastards. Drive down, have a blast, terrorize Salem, spend too much money again... Start playing the show with No Self Control... they had an AWESOME set... great energy... made a new friend with the awesome kid who was really into them and us. Viscious Bastards play second and this kid shows up with his skinhead friend and these to bleachy chicks. He instantly starts hassleing the lead singer, Derek Bastard. Telling him his myspace pictures are gay and that he's a fag, ETC ETC. My friend Dave starts pushing the kid back since he's right in Derek's face and preventing the band from playing. This happens three or four more times during each song. Finally Dereks like "I'm not going to play another song until this kid gets out of my face." We drove 5 hours to see this band, we're not about to put up with this shit! The kids starts mouth off again... I got fed up and shouted at him "DUDE... You are acting like a fucking child!! FUCK OFF!" He turns around and screams in my face to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!' Too which my friends Dave and Fred replied "YOU DON'T TALK TO A LADY LIKE THAT!!" And jumped the kid, resulting in a tussle that crashed into the the guitar player of VB. He throws down his guitar and yells "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!!!" And goes charging after the kid whos staggering his way towards the back looking for his other skinhead friend. I latch onto the guitar player trying to hold him back cause I don't want the show to get shut down and he seriously looked like he was gonna kill the guy O.O
The skinhead turns to run, trips over a bunch of folding chairs and falls face first into a HUGE metal pipe. Splits his forehead WIDEOPEN. At which point all fighters stop dead in the tracks cause the kid had pretty much kicked his own ass. He dissappears upstairs leaving a trail of blood.
SO!! Viscious Bastars play the rest of an AWESOME set. We set up at warp speed and start playing one our fastest loudest sets EVER. It was awesome! everyone was singing along! I nailed all the little tricky parts in my basslines!! It was so sweet! We played about 10 songs and my friend Dave goes upstairs to smoke a cig with his friend DJ. DJ comes runnign down about a minute later screaming about Dave getting punched in the face FIVE TIMES by some big skinhead dude. At which point the entire basement EMPTIED. Beside us of course, who stood there with our intsrtuments blinking. Apparently upstairs a mobile BRAWL ensued through the streets of Salem involing 15 some odd punker kids chasing down a group of skinheads...Meanwhile, in the basement, the venue owner runs down the stairs and bellows at us "YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF HERE."
Commence fastest pack up in the history of all bands!! Or not. Who knows... But we got the fuck out of there. Later on teh venue owner was chill when he realized it wasn't our fault. He talked the cops down and they left without searching or charging anyone. Which rocks cause I was scared shitless, considering i'm on BAIL CONDITIONS now. I'm going to capitalize that everytime I write it now. So yeah. It was fun I suppose... awesome set... crazy experiances and stories to tell...We went back to our linked hotel sweet with a couch and everything WOMG SWANK and partied for a bit before I started the drive home around 1am. Shawn of the dead had to work the next morning, and my dads wedding was the next day. Even if he's marrying someone i'm not to fond of, I had to go. I showed up fashionably late and delayed the ceremony though... heheh...
BLAHBLAH Frigerater esplodes and we lose $300 worth of grocerys x.x SHITTINESS. But! I survived off of my garden for a few days which was very satisfying! I've got Zucchinni, Summer Squash, Peas, Beans, Cucumber, Peppers, Red Potatoes, Cherry and BEEFSTEAK Tomatoes, Beets, Turnips, Carrots, Corn (not quite ready yet) AND MEG HUGE SUNFLOWERS. I must take pictures ;____;So yeah... walk down there and feast every now and then. Luckily my dad had an old fridge tp sell us so we can buy food soon ^___^
OKAY SO I"VE MANGLED YOUR BRAINS ENOUGH FOR NOW!!
I apologize for lack of reply on some posts and for not sending out a few packages but I'm back on track and should have everything out by Friday!! (Bethany, Lawren, Savvy, etc)
LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL!!
-Keet
PLEASE FORGIVE BAD GRAMMAR AND SPELLING, YES? I'm very tired and brain dead at this point c.c
SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG O.o
I need to find out the cut code again damnit x.x |
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| Walk All Over Me |
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| 10:34am 30/01/2006 |
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mood: chipper music: Blunt - Trippin Skarlo
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Apology is a womans trait. A man seems to "know his place in society". He is comfortable and offers no apologies for anything he does. Women tend to apologize for everything right down to their very exsistence. If something is amuck in the world, we apologize, because some how, through this ingrained tendency we feel the need to lower ourselves and claim responsibily for things WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH. We are insecure still, about holding opinions and speaking our minds. Overshadowed by years of living in this patriarchal country. Abigale Adams begged her husband not to forget the ladies when drafting up the constitution. It seems he got a little to drunk and just left them out completely. This eternal brand of womanhood. Ignored. Silent servants of motherhood and pleasure. Placed on earth to pick up after man? Why are these archaic trains of thought still plauguing our subconcious psyche to the point where we feel the need to apologize for everything?
I've spent most of my life in this mental rut. Apologizing for anything and everything. Sorry it's raining out. Sorry that random show got canceled. Sorry about the government fucking you. Sorry for moving that. Sorry for calling. Sorry for BEING BORN.
Why has this become such a tendancy for me? I have NOTHING to be sorry about. Yet my automatic reply to almost anything is often a Sorry. For things I couldn't be held accountable for in a thousand years. It really isn't my fault its raining out. Why am I apologizing? Because as a woman, deep down inside i know my inhearant taint makes me somehow responsible for all the wrongs in this wretched world? EVE TRICKED ADAM INTO EATING THE APPLE! EEEEVVVIIIL EEEEEeeeeviiil WENCH!
Of course, this trait has led to a lot of possibly confrontational situations petering out into nothing. Because if i fail to voice my actual view on the subject, and simply apologize and quietly rant in my head, the argument has no where to go. I of course. LOSE. Because rather then launch this possibly volitale situation, I leave the crazy people to their crazy points of view that wouldn't change a mite even if I had spewed my opinion.
People are stuborn. Opinionated. and generally egotistical. As much as you'd like to deny such a nasty trait... its there. If it wasn't there, you wouldn't be updating your pictures and typing about you favorite things right down the size shape color and consitency of you fucking shit FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.
I suppose i developed apology as a defense mechanism then. An insant diffusing of any situation. Even if it leaves my grinding my teeth and wishing i could just fucking say what I have on my mind.
All for the sake of drama reduction.
DRAMA.
Definatly on my list of shittiest things in exsistence.
Over the past year. My apologies have stopped. Not really an act of will or anything. Maybe I just reached the breaking point and realized how pointless it is to let myself be trampled for the sake of tranquility.
Some definate drama shit storms have resulted. But their outcomes have all been for the better. So ulitmatly. Speaking my mind and refusing to just apologize and sweep my emotions under the rug has worked out for me.
I'm going to keep it up. And I suggest you do the same!
SPEAK YOUR MIND.
STOP SAYING YOUR SORRY.
You only have a short span of time on this earth in this flimsy mortal body so make the best of every second and stop being the nice girl (or guy) who always finishes last.
Well... you can be nice. In fact... nicety is much prefered... Just stop caving under the slightest bit of pressure and stand up whatever it is you believe in.
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING! YAAAAYY!
YOU CAN DO IT SISTAHS! BLAHBLAHBLAH!
I dunno. Felt the need for a rant <3
Hope you like it... and as always... FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE WITH ME!
Because I have found new joy in the game of debate!
(Just a rant reposted from myspace! Love you guys <3) |
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| Patching Holes... |
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| 07:14am 21/12/2005 |
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mood:  mellow music: The Only Good Fascist is a Dead Fascist - Propagahndi
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It was nice to talk with you yesterday Zuke<3
Things don't feel quite so empty or cold today...
Stress and worry nipping at the edges... numbed by a general settling of peace...
Ultimatly, everything will be okay.
Thats what I keep telling myself.
Sometimes its really hard to be an optimist when the world feels like its shattering around you...
Never craved ignorant bliss persay, maybe just better blinders.
The more I focus on every little negative blip, the greater the weight feels...
Sometimes I just have to shut my brain off and live for the sake of living. |
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argylebassist's journal